


The Promise

by kemor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 08:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12955278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kemor/pseuds/kemor
Summary: Set sometime between chapters 90 and 93. Eren and Mikasa's farewell before his departure. Eren fulfills his promise he gave her 4 years ago





	The Promise

"Do you really have to go alone?"

He looked at her from his bed, bandages in one hand and his bag in other. They were currently in his room, in a wooden cottage stationed by the shore. Ever since they reached it three years ago, it's been their base of operation. With the island cleaned out and the danger now shifted to the other side of the ocean, it was a reasonable decision approved by both the military and Queen herself.

Eren continued to look into Mikasa's face for a longer while, before resuming his previous activity. He was currently packing himself: it was time for his mission.

"We've already talked about it, Mikasa." he replied calmly. "You can't go with me. You-"

"My physical traits would make me stand out, thus cause suspicion and possibly flunk the mission. I am well aware of that." she interrupted him. Her arms were crossed on her chest, as she leaned against the wall with her right side. "I wasn't going to propose to come with you. I simply disagree with the idea of you going there alone. It's too risky."

Eren continued to pack his things, his bag half-full. He reached out towards the other end of the bed for a new set of clothes before replying.

"The fewer people involved, the better. That is the decision Historia and Commander came up with. I thought we all agreed that it was the best option we have right now?" he stopped packing and turned to face her, his eyebrows raised.

He could see the disagreement written on her face, even through her usual stoic mask. A skill he'd obtained over the last decade he spent with her. "We will be joining you soon afterwards. What difference does it make if we send one or two people with you?"

"Blending in will be easier if I'm alone." he shot her down once again. "I have the best chances of survival if something goes wrong. I can't be killed by normal means. I know what it's like there, after all" he tapped his right temple with his index finger "I've already seen the place many times. Besides," he added after forcefully pushing down his jacket into his bag, which was now slowly running out of space. "we've prepared for it. I know what to do, what to expect. Nobody would have let me go out there if they weren't sure I knew what to do."

Mikasa's face changed. Eren simply watched, almost as if in slow motion, as she pushed out her lower lip and gently bit it, a quirk she developed four years ago. It meant that she was worried, wanted to say something, but didn't quite know which words to use. Almost as if by reflex, he immediately cut off eye contact with her grey irises before she could speak out. Cursing to himself in his mind, Eren focused on his task, hoping she wouldn't touch the topic he dreaded to talk about. A hope he knew very well was false, but he still wanted to hang onto it.

"Do you really have to do it? she asked him, her voice concerned and on the verge of breaking.

Eren froze. He slowly closed his eyes and gently breathed out through his nose. It's not like he could blame her. He was currently packing for a mission in which he'd become the enemy of the entire world. When he came to this conclusion, he wasn't sure whether to go through with it himself. Sure, there were still a couple steps that needed to be achieved before he could actually go through with the plan, and somewhere in his mind, he'd hoped they would crumble, along with the initial plan. He hoped that there was another way, different from the path he was about to make the first step on. However, he was carrying the fate of every single Eldian on the island, and he had to treasure it. He had to answer it. Protect it. At least try to.

"Mikasa, we're both monsters." he said to her with a sad smile. "We both killed people. We no longer have any innocence to lose, we've forsaken it years ago."

"I know." she replied shortly, her voice not matching the weight of her words. She straightened herself up and walked up to his bed, stopping just a few feet away from him. "But this is different. You are planning on taking everything onto your back, just like you always used to. I've supported you for years, I've fought with myself to let you do things on your own, I've learned to put my trust into you and finally let you show me your true strength, but this time, I simply can't. This is too much, even if we all carried this burden."

Eren didn't say anything. He continued to push his stuff down his bag, his mind blank. Even if he wanted to, there was nothing he could say to her right now. Nothing she would acknowledge, not this easily.

"No matter what I do" he spoke out after a long pause "our situation is critical. There is no way out of this, Mikasa. You must understand this."

Mikasa did not reply. Taking it as a sign, he continued.

"Right now, it's all about making the first move. The plan is risky, but it's the best option we have right now. I don't even know if I'll be able to carry it out, there are too many loose ends, but I have to see this through. I am the reason this hell happened 9 years ago."

"Eren, I..."

"Tell me your role." he suddenly cut her off, his voice slightly sharper.

Mikasa looked at him, her eyes slightly wider. "I, along with our Squad, am to wait fifty days after your departure and then cross the ocean to join you in the final stage of the mission."

"What do you have to do in the meantime, when I'm gone?"

"Prepare the recruits and attend weekly briefings. I am also to be Historia's official guard in your absence."

"See?" he said with a softer voice, his eyebrows slightly raised. "We all have a part in this. Let me carry mine out, and worry about yourself instead."

He watched her open her mouth, only to close it couple seconds later. She's known him far too long to know that once his mind was set on something, there was nothing that could change it, no matter what kind of words she used. This was the one thing that never changed about him.

Taking her silence as the end of this topic, Eren looked at his bag. It was full, and, much to his surprise, everything he wanted to bring along fit like a glove. Lessons knocked into the back of his head by Levi sure came in handy when needed.

"I still think someone should come with you." said Mikasa after a long while. Knowing she had no means of stopping him, she decided to get back to the initial topic.

Just when he was about to say something, Eren spotted something in her appearance. Only now did he notice just how much she's changed over the years.

Although she was of the same height as 4 years ago, her face looked much more mature. She allowed her hair to grow out a little, and it was now couple centimeters longer than usually. Her body has also changed, something he started to notice only a while ago. Although it was still made out of pure muscle, it also looked more feminine. She was no longer heavier than him, though. Even though all of these changes came to him not too long ago, there was something that he was most certain he'd never seen in his life before.

Mikasa's scarf was lazily wrapped around her neck, the exact opposite of the usual neatly tied cloth that always decorated her neck. Well, it was early, some would say too early - it was still dark outside. She probably threw it over her neck in a hurry to catch him before he got onto the ship. Still, it simply did not fit.

Instead of answering her, Eren stood up from his seat.

Mikasa met his emerald eyes with hers, her chin raised upwards. It's been a while, but she still couldn't get used to the need of lifting her head to meet his eyes. For over 8 years she was used to having him on the same level as her, both of them dead even in height from when they were 9 to her 17th birthday. He now stood good 10 cm above her. His shoulders have become much wider, and his body naturally muscular. His sharp, manlier face was touched with the signs of an early beard, something that also appeared what felt like a moment ago.

Both of them stared into each other's eyes, taking in how much they've changed over the years. There were no words, no gestures, no movement. They simply looked deep into each other's souls, almost as if they were trying to communicate through thoughts. It wasn't awkward or embarrassing, it felt natural. They both knew what awaited them, they knew what was going to happen in a month, they knew they are about to split their ways. But neither said it out loud.

Eren was the one to break the moment. He slowly reached out to her neck with his hands and grabbed her scarf. He then unrolled it off Mikasa's neck and held both ends in each hand, before wrapping it around her from scratch.

Her eyes widened a little in genuine surprise, as he continued to gently slide the cloth over her face and neck. It was nowhere near as clumsy or awkward as a decade ago - if Mikasa was brave enough, she would've suggested he practiced on someone.

Noticing her shock, Eren took his attention off the scarf and looked at her. "Well, I did promise you all these years ago."

Her eyes got even wider. He actually remembered the promise he'd made her that day?

After pushing the end over the top, Eren was finally done, Mikasa's scarf neatly tied around her neck as it always was. She slowly raised her hand and touched the material. It was the exact same method she used every morning, though she rarely covered her mouth. In order to not ruin the moment, she decided to let the cloth stay on her mouth, and before she could speak out, she was once again feeling shock take over her face.

In one quick motion, Eren grabbed the back of Mikasa's head and pushed it against his neck, her chest meeting his. She breathed his smell in, her nose stuck in-between his neck and shoulder. His right arm was keeping her close to his figure, his warmth spreading over her body. His left arm hung by his side awkwardly, as they just stood there, with Eren holding Mikasa with his own version of a hug.

"Ever since we've learned that my time is limited, you've been trying to spend as much time with me as possible, and I was trying my hardest to let you do it." he said, his voice muffled by her hair.

Mikasa was lost for words. He noticed?

"But I can't stay with you forever. I have to do this, and I have to do it alone. I'll be fine, I always have been. After all of this is done, we'll get back to how things used to be. Hell, maybe we'll be able to finally stop looking over our shoulders. So, until then, let me do what I have to do. Start to trust me again."

She had no idea how much she needed this. This was the first time he initiated any sort of closer physical contact with her, and it worked magic. Almost like a sponge, he sucked out everything that built up inside of her for the past months, years even, and it all came out at once. She didn't even try to stop her eyes from watering, nor did she stop her arms that raised themselves and wrapped around him in a tight embrace.

"I never stopped." she muffled into his neck.

Eren couldn't help the small smile that formed on his face. "Take care of everyone while I'm gone, especially the new guys. You'll have Levi to guide you if things go south."

Mikasa hummed into his neck, something that sounded like an approval.

Eren looked out the window. It was almost time to leave.

"Wait for me" he added "and when I get back, I'll gladly give you my last four years. Every single moment I can."

"Okay." she said. "Can we stay like this for a while longer?" she asked him, her arms wrapping themselves around him even tighter.

Although it was almost time to leave, and his ribs were slowly starting to hurt, he never stopped smiling. Seeing that he still had few minutes left, he closed his eyes and pulled her in closer, his nose taking in the smell of her hair. "Sure."

He knew damn well he was about to step into yet another hell. He saw it in his dreams, he knew what the consequences were going to look like. But this time, he had a small beam of hope and happiness to look forward to, a beam that managed to push through the immense weight of darkness that laid in front of him. Now that he thought about it, it's always been there, guiding his way. He was simply too stupid to see it. But not this time.

Because right now, it was currently in his arms.


End file.
